Is Acceptance becoming a lost art?

It seems to me that as of late Acceptance has become one that is getting ignored. It seems it doesn't matter what you are, this need to tell people what you think of them regardless of who you are is astonishing. In the past couple of weeks the internet has exploded with this thought process, well if you don't agree with me or you are different from me you must be inferior.

Not saying that we all have to be friends, but the point of accepting someone's thoughts and opinions or uniqueness and moving on has become a lost notion. You can agree to disagree or ignore a person that you don't like. I am finding that social media has become the gladiator type arena for people to take bashing one another to a whole new level. You have to ask yourself what is the point? Most of them its random stranger pitted against random stranger.

I think what worries me is that when you are in a certain community and there is need to bash some one for their thoughts and questions or their uniqueness. I see this a lot within the Autism Community. A Community that screams acceptance and fights for it, but yet within it's walls can't accept those who are in the confines of it. Either it has been a page, who is set up to provide information about Autism and Advocacy blasting those who ask questions, protecting the very people who attack those who happen to come upon this page with inquiries. Or its a personal attack on those who have discovered something about themselves. But it is truly sad that a community that wants Acceptance from the World, can't even accept their own.

It doesn't just stop there. The past couple of weeks have seen internet debates that include Military retirements to Duck Dynasty. My religion is better than your religion. My political side is better than your political side. I can't make a point about how Reality TV has skewed the priorities of this country without religion and politics being pulled into it. It wasn't  about religion. It wasn't about who you voted for. But that turned into a shit storm because people thought religion was being persecuted. Back to my religion is better than yours mentality. Back to the whole question of "Why can't we just accept that others are different and move on.."

Personally, I have always been a fairly open minded person. I don't care if you are Gay, Straight, Autistic, Neuro typical, Republican, Democrat, Hindu, Muslim or Christian and so on. I care when you don't accept me for who I am. You can disagree with me, that is fine. But move on. Respect the fact that even though I don't agree with you, I have accepted who you are. Don't bash me for being who I am because I don't conform to your idea of what is right.

Acceptance is becoming a lost art.

Embrace the Suck.. They have no idea.....

What does it say about a country that can ask it's military to go off and fight its wars for them, then turn around and take the hard earned retirements, benefits and services away from their own troops, but yet refuse to take a pay cut themselves to help balance a budget?


I feel as if once again this country's proud military is getting thrown under the bus. Its like this vicious cycle. But no one, not one of them sitting high and mighty in Washington, want to take the blame. No one. I get that this country overspent. We do all do on occasion. But the biggest difference is, is that most people when they do that they own up to it. Yeah I fucked up. Most people don't sit there and blame other parties.

So yeah, you are damn right that people are angry.You bet that the military is looking at the actions of Washington, and thinking WTF? How dare you ask us to sacrifice our lives and our families to do a job that none of you are willing to do while you mess about with our entitlements. You are damn right that if you put yourself on the front line protecting this country, you should be entitled to something.

Embrace the Suck? Nancy Pelosi? Really. You have no idea how much that makes you sound like a callous, ignorant, insensitive person. You have absolutely  no idea, not one iota of what that statement means to the ones you are screwing over. You have never had to fight for anything like your pay, retirement and services you receive for being a Politician. But yet your statement stings. Until you know the full meaning and impact of what your words mean, don't sit there and tell us to "Embrace the Suck." Because if you did, you would never have uttered those words to the American People. The people that got you to the place you sit now.This goes to all those who thought that this budget deal was ok. Remember those who put you there and how you are throwing them under the bus to save your ass.

I urge you all to please if you support our military and the job they do to protect your freedoms, please contact your local government officials.Let them know you stand with this country's Military.

Thanks again Washington for yet another fantastic way of showing you support your military. 

So this is Christmas....

So this is Christmas....
And what have you Done?
Another Year over...
And a new one just Begun....


Its remarkable that there are some songs out there that can touch your heart and trigger emotions. For me its John Lennon's Happy Xmas, War is Over.  Originally it was a protest song for the Vietnam War. It now has become a standard on most Holiday albums. For a lot of people it is just a song that comes on the radio along with all the other Holiday cheer.  For me, it makes me wish that all those who have loved ones deployed this Christmas could have one day where War was over. Just for one day.

I, like many other families are missing those who matter the most this holiday season. Many of us would love for conflict that has taken our loved ones away to stop. But in order for us to maintain peace or for peace to happen, our loved ones are the ones trying to do it. Most of us, we know that when we do have our loved ones with us, its makes the holiday extra special. But its not always possible.

We try our best to get through the chaos of the season. I won't lie its hard. No one will truly understand what its like to stand in line at the Post Office mailing off packages with APO addresses, making sure the customs forms are filled out properly. Boxes filled with all the goodies and love you want your loved one to have while off in a far away land. Just a little touch of home. Not everyone is going to understand the sadness you have when you are trying to make spirits bright for your children, but yet you are dying inside. Nor will people get it when certain songs  trigger emotions while in the mall or grocery store. But like we always do, we soldier on.

Holidays are always hard on Military Families with deployed family members. As it is a continued reminder of the sacrifice we all make.Be easy on the mother who is struggling to hold it together while running her errands. Or to the father who is trying desperately make sure his daughters are looking pretty. Or to the spouses who just miss that special person they would love to kiss under the mistletoe. Also be joyous for those who continue to make sure you have your freedom. Freedom to worship this season in your own fashion, regardless on what faith they are from.

So wouldn't it be nice if the War was over and people could be at peace?

I think John Lennon was right on so many levels. Just Imagine :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWsMxU5FCSs

A simple Holiday Request.

Its the Holidays. I get it. We all do. Its been quite evident since the beginning of September that the Holiday season is going to be upon us.

In the world of Autism, the hustle and bustle of the holiday season means something all together different. The noise of it all can be overwhelming to our sensory sensitive children. While we shuffle about trying to get our presents wrapped and shipped off or our holiday parties planned. I often wondered how our little ones get through the chaos of it all.

For me I find it hard when you have a child that doesn't understand the concept. No fault on them. Just that Santa Claus and all of his elves are foreign. Or that the lighting of the Menorah is too much for them. In this world that is so critical of others its hard to maintain a level of cheer this holiday season.

We have a love/hate relationship with Christmas in this house. I love everything to do with Christmas. But my ASD kids don't. My daughter hates everything to with Santa. The even thought of him will spark a meltdown. . Its not the crowds or the noise that bothers her, but just the very thought of him. Pictures, ornaments, you name it we can't have in our house.We don't even do the Elf on the Shelf, as the thought of an elf that spies for Santa also sparks an autistic "Hell No" To her and maybe the Church Lady from SNL he very well could be the devil himself. But that isn't the sad part. Its the reaction from people who see the panic in her eyes or the fear they hear in her voice when she says " No Mommy, No Santa.." We get the " Oh what a silly thing to be afraid of.. " or " No one can be afraid of Santa Claus..." Its like everything else when it comes to publicly parenting your children. The looks and the comments.

And with my youngest son, the lights and sounds of the holiday are an overload. You can't walk into a store or a mall without lights blinking on and off rapidly or the Xmas music blaring at decibels that would wake the dead.  People wonder why he vibrates out of his stroller or carts. Or why he chews on his wrist like a cannibal. Its called over stimulation. And 85% of people will not know what its like to live in a world where your senses are magnified. Holidays are hard enough at times to get through, the added scrutiny certainly doesn't help.

So this is what I ask this holiday season. Its a simple request. I wish people would be more accepting. I know that more malls out there are doing Sensory Safe Santa. Which I think is fabulous. But for those children that Santa is really not their thing, don't sit there and question it. Don't make the child feel guilty because they have no desire to talk to the Jolly Old Guy. Its not their fault. Its just who they are.  Make them feel that its ok not want to participate. Holidays should be celebrated without the added pressure. It should be about love, support and acceptance.  So the next time you see a child that is scared of something, ask yourself...

How you feel if you were in a room by yourself with the one thing that terrifies you?

When They were Young...Remember Them.

When they were young.. they were just beginning their lives. Many of them were not even of age when they enlisted. But they had made the choice to sign up and join the war effort. They wanted to do their part. They wanted Patriotism to flow so strongly to that it echoed from shore to shore. They were too young to realize just what they had signed up for. They left most of them boys, but they came back Men. They left most of them girls and came back Women. These are our Veterans.

My Maternal  Grandfather was 21 when he left for WWII. He had just married my Grandmother in 1942. His first ship he was stationed on the HMCS Achates, it sunk off the coast of England after only 10 days after he began his service. He was put on the HMCS Haida. The the Fightingest Ship in the Canadian Navy. He worked in the boiler room. I remember my mother telling me that he used to have nightmares about his experience. As he got older he shared his stories with me. He was so proud  of his time on the service. Every November 11th, he would honor his fallen shipmates at the cenotaph. A tradition that was instilled in myself. I was fortunate to visit the HMCS Haida when she was moored in Lake Ontario. It was an honor to be where my Grandfather had once so bravely fought during Operation Overlord. I remember being overwhelmed with emotion that day. As this was part of me. This was part of my family's history.

As I sit here and write this, military service is still alive with this family. With my husband currently serving and deployed, we will never forget those who have served before us. Veterans regardless with what ever conflict should have our love and respect. Political,religious and civil differences aside, these men and women deserve the upmost respect. They volunteered their lives to fight for freedom. Remembrance shouldn't be limited to just one day. We must continue to learn about the wars of past. We must listen to those who share their stories. Many of our WWI and WWII Vets are dying. Many of our Vets are facing poverty and illness due to the ignorance of others. 

I would like to say thank you. Thank you to you,our Veterans. You are so valuable to what makes us who we are. You have helped shaped the course of history while paying the ultimate sacrifice. You came home from war, broken and in need of love and support. We as a nation need to make sure you are taken care of.  Thank you to the families that quietly served at home. Without you, there would be no one to love and support our retuning Veterans. Your sacrifice doesn't go unnoticed. I thank those who have come before me. 

In the end, thank a Vet. Not just on Remembrance Day or Veterans' Day, but everyday. They are the most deserving people of your gratitude and love. On November 11th, we honor those who didn't come home. We put their spirit in our hearts and never forget those who made the ultimate sacrifice. 

Lest we forget.

I am not going to apologize....

Part of my nature is that I am forever apologizing for things, regardless if they are my fault. I apologize for things that are beyond my control or that I had nothing to do with. Its a fault of mine. Maybe its because I am Canadian or maybe not. I don't know.

Its like I am a serial apologizier. Its like an addiction. The sad part is its me trying to please everyone. In someway it goes back to my childhood of trying to make sure everyone is happy. Adulthood has definitely taught me that there is no pleasing everyone, not even with an apology.  So here goes..

I will not apologize for feeling the way I feel sometimes. Whether it be angry, sad or happy. I will not bow down to those who want to invalidate my feelings. There is a reason I feel the way I do. Its called being emotional. There is nothing wrong with that. I am going to have my highs and my lows.There are times where I feel sad over situations or resentment when it seems that the world is perfect on the outside and I am struggling in the inside. But there are the highs that make it all worth while.  Everyone has their own Emotional Roller Coaster they ride. The trick is finding people who will ride it with you. And not apologize to those who won't. 

I will not apologize for my children. Unless they have done something harmful or destructive. I have three children that have their own special needs. Two of which are autistic and the other one with ADHD.  Yes they are loud when they have meltdowns when overstimulated. Yes its like a circus when we go anywhere. Its not their fault that the world is somewhat different to them. Its not their fault that they are wired different from the rest of the NT children. They are good, sweet kids. I will not apologize to people who can't see with their heart rather than their eyes.

I will not apologize for my parenting choices. They are the ones that work for my family. People who don't get it, well they don't have to live by my rules and boundaries when it comes to my children. I will not apologize for inoculating them or the therapies I fight for them to have. I will certainly not apologize for being fierce when it comes to my children. They all have their own journeys to travel, some of the road is hard, some of it will be a breeze. But they certainly don't need the ignorance of those around them hindering them. I will not apologize for teaching them to accept themselves and defending their person. They will learn that they are valuable to this world.

I will not apologize for being human. With that I make mistakes. We all do.To Err is to be Human. We live in this world that is so critical of others that we forget that we too make mistakes. Learn from them. And to the people that can't accept that, well wouldn't be nice to live in a perfect world.

Most importantly, I will not apologize for being me. No one should have to apologize for that. I am an emotional fun bag of crazy on good days. I am also a wife, a mother, a daughter, sister and a friend. I am a person who has anxiety and wears her emotions on her sleeve that can jump to the worst possible conclusion faster than the speed of light. I am a good person. My heart is in the right place. I try. I will not apologize to society that isn't willing to get to know me.

So in the end, I will not apologize for this post.

Haven't been around much..

I haven't been around much. I know. Life has a way of keeping me on my toes. It seems that every time I get a chance to catch my breath, I am running again and out of breath again. Life never seems dull when spouses are deployed and when Autism and ADHD tag team you like an amateur wrestling match. But it's times like these where I learn more about myself. Sadly its more like how much can I be pushed until I break.

I have come to the realization that sometimes enduring bad situations can help you discover things about yourself. And help you overome the hardships. With each deployment my spouse has been on, I have been forever rediscovering a new aspect of myself. Growing from whatever life has thrown at me. Whether it be dealing with diagnoses of family members or the ever changing relationships with people. Sometimes it isn't always a positive thing.

Sometimes I feel like it's this "Ah-ha" moment where the light bulb gets turned on. And I ask myself why on earth I am staying this situation when it has a negative connation to it.

Lately I have been dealing with people who have these insecurities with themselves that they have to try and bring me down with them. I have gotten to the point, where I just don't care anymore. I would rather protect my sanity rather than endure the pettiness and nastiness of others. So I have become more guarded. Finding out who I can trust and who I can't. 

It seems that the daily grind is wearing me out. I am finding it hard to separate myself three ways. It seems that once I have one child set,the other two are in need. It is a rare occasion when all three are in sync. At the end of the day, I can barely function. But I stretch myself thin to accommodate. As that is how I roll. There are days where I impress myself getting through a day with very little sleep and having not killed someone in the process.

I have had to take a step back. Some have understood, some haven't. But to the ones that have seen me at my worst and still held on, they are worth their weight in gold. I am sorry that I have not been around lately. But I have had to dig deep down and find myself again. I want to feel happy again. I  needed to see that I could be that again,despite all that is happening around me. Yeah is my spouse still deployed and autism and ADHD alive and well in this house, but I am starting to find the daily little joys that keep me smiling through the hard times.

Thank you to those who have stuck with me and that have respected why I have had to do this. I am glad that I have taken a step back. It's made me learn to slow down. Process things better. Not put myself into situations that are going to hurt. I am a better person for it. And I finally feel like I can catch my breath.