Friday, August 23, 2013

WWII Vet gets beaten to death. Is this how Society respects our Veterans?

As I sat down to drink my morning coffee this morning, a story came across my news feed concerning the beating death of an 88 year old WWII veteran. This was done at the hands of teenagers out in Spokane, WA. Here was a guy that fought in Okinawa, survived getting shot there, proudly served his country and this is the respect that he gets? What is wrong with people, I have to ask myself.

I am beginning to wonder about the treatment of our Veterans in this country.Being married to the military, I am saddened that this is how we treat our veterans. Now, I know that not everyone is like those teenagers, but what happened to our youth, that they have so much disregard towards those who have made more sacrifices than they have. Sure, they could learn about the World Wars, Korean and Vietnam Wars in their history textbooks or even talk to a Veteran about their experiences. But it seems that the youth today just don't care. And why should they? Look at the social attitudes towards Veterans. People protesting at our service member's funerals. People calling our returning Military horrible things like murders and torturers. Let's not even talk about how the government has treated our Veterans. Cutting back on programs essential to their well being or the well being of their families. Or even cutting back their pay, because they can't see past their own selves.

I have always been a huge supporter of Veterans. I have listened my grandfather tell, through painful memories, his stories and experiences of seeing the horrors of war. I look at all those who bravely fought for the freedoms we have today and have the up most admiration and respect. I have it for those who are now currently coming back from War Zones. The treatment of our Veterans hits home for me, as I am married to one. One day he will retire. One day he will sit with his shipmates, and talk about the old days back when. Just as my Grandfather used to do and the countless of other Veterans still do.

Delbert Belton served his country. He served proudly. And the level of respect he got was to be beaten to death by a bunch of ungrateful teenagers. This wasn't about race. It was about people taking advantage of an elderly person for gain or boredom. It would be nice if some of the younger crowd would take the time to thank those who fought. As they don't know what holds in the future, the world just might be in for another Major conflict, where the draft just might be put in place. You learn from your past.

Here is the story about Delbert Belton. I hope they catch the guys who thought it was necessary and cool to beat down a WWII Veteran.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Dear "One Pissed Of Mother"

Dear "One Pissed off Mother ",

I am writing to you concerning your outstanding letter to a member of your community that has special needs. Since it has now gotten international recognition, I am assuming this is the attention you wanted, there are some things that need to be addressed. As it is very apparent that you are misinformed about a couple of things concerning Autism.

 Autism is a disorder of neural development characterized by impaired social interaction and verbal and non-verbal communication, and by restricted, repetitive behavior.To put that in terms that most would understand, Autism is something a person cannot help to have, thus the implication of disorder. As if to say, its something that a person has to live with. Now there are things that we as parents can do to help our children with Autism. There are therapies, like ABA, Speech, OT and Physical. But its all a process. Nothing happens overnight. Special Needs Parents have this thing called Patience. It means we wait with hope that any one of those therapies I have mentioned will provide some help to our children. See the trick is, they didn't ask to have Autism. It wasn't something that they all woke up one day and thought " Hey that sounds nifty, I want that." Its like everything else that can happen to a human body, Cancer, Down Syndrome or even MS, nobody asks to have it.

Here is the thing. Your letter that was filled with such hate and disdain, was no better than those attitudes of the Nazis or the KKK. To even suggest that someone euthanize a child because you don't like the way he communicates makes you no better than those stated above. You also took the most cowardly approach as you couldn't even sign this letter with your real name. You obviously have strong feelings and opinions about how another parent should deal with their child.  Are you afraid of the retaliation that will happen? If that is the case, then maybe you shouldn't have written this letter. A lot of talk, but no action? Maybe you made the choice, because you are truly afraid of us parents. You clearly have underestimated the fight power of us Autism Parents. When it comes to bullies, Adult or child, we take it very seriously and we don't mess around. We will fight for the rights of our children till we are blue in the face. You will know why your letter is the prime example of the ignorance we face.

Your letter is now the prime example of why we need to still educate and make people aware. You letter serves a purpose to all of us Parents, that we cannot and will not stopping fighting the good fight for our children. If anything your letter has fueled more desire to fight the ignorance that is still out there. It has stirred up so much anger, that people like you will not know what is coming to them if they challenge a Parent of a child with special needs.I will say that it is nice to see this boy's community come together and rally around him. If anything positive to have come out of your letter, its to see that. That must be a giant F U to you. Just sayin'.

So I hope your goal was to piss off a whole world of Autism Parents. If that was your goal, you have succeeded.Now you have to deal with the repercussions of your actions. If anything it makes this parent very sad that you can't take your blinders off and see what wonderful and unique world is out here because of people who live with Autism. Your loss. As the world is a better place because of people like Max Begley.

A Proud Mother of Two Autistic Children.

Monday, August 19, 2013

When Something Simple Becomes Something so Big.

I am a firm believer that somethings take time to figure out. That you need patience sometimes to see an end result of hard work. But when you see the positive impact of working hard and achieving something, its priceless. I saw this today.

My youngest is pretty much non verbal. We get the sounds and the grunts and the occasional random word. But today was different. He said a two word sentence that meant something. " Bye Bye Momma". He said that.He said as he walked out of the kitchen waving Good Bye to me. I just stood there in complete Awe. I can't tell you how endearing it was to hear that little voice, beaming and clear. My heart just sung. And if this is all he says for the next couple of months, then I will take it. As it means, there is something there. A connection has been made. We have made a step towards something very awesome.

I write this, because I want to give others hope. I know its a frustrating process watching your child struggle with something that comes naturally to others. But when you see them overcome something, its a heart warmer. Its like Christmas or any other joyful Holiday. You are that giddy. See this is what Special Needs Parents do. All these milestones that get hit and achieved we Celebrate them with all the gusto we can, as we know the hard work that gets put into these goals.

Never stop fighting the good fight. Celebrate all the achievements, big or small your child has made. In time and with guidance, things will happen. And when they do, be prepared for your heart to just explode.

Anyway I hope this gives some people some hope. And know that we are all in this and well all understand the Joys and Frustrations.

And that folks, is my good news of the day :)

Friday, August 16, 2013

It never gets easy.. Ever.

Whoever said being a military spouse was easy was living a lie. Sure it has its perks. But the reality is it is a hard life to live. I write this as we are two weeks out before my husband deploys (again). Sure it is familiar territory, but every deployment is never the same.

 I sit here wondering if we made the right choice. See we tried to get him orders to stay. But as the Military is, they didn't want to work with us. So here we are faced with an 18 month deployment. A deployment that is going to keep our kids in an area where they will benefit from the education as well as their medical needs, but a deployment that is going to send my husband across the globe. This is a Sacrifice we made with our marriage and his involvement in his children's lives. But I often wonder if we made the right choice. I mean we could have been stationed somewhere else, but there was a huge part of me that didn't want to restart a battle for not one but three kids in a new area for all their individual needs. So here we are.

It never gets easy, ever.  Watching the Seabag get packed. Making sure all the official documents are in order. And all the rushed things that need to get done before the final day arrives. You squeeze so much into two weeks. The date nights( that happen when you have awesome people look after your kids), all the various activities that each child wants to do with their parent that is leaving and then when it is all done, its time to leave. We sit there and ask ourselves, where did the time go? Why can't we have just 24 more hours.

In a way I guess I have it easier than the spouses that paved the way for me. I can look forward to the Skyping and emails. But there is still that common feeling that we all have of missing our spouses. Of Course, we sailor and soldier on as that is what sets us apart. Our ability to put a brave face on and take on whatever life throws at us.But in that, we quietly know deep down that sometimes it sucks. It sucks hard. Military Spouses are allowed to have that.

So in two weeks or so, You will have to pardon me if I am emotional. You will have to pardon me if my heart feels a little sad. Even the seasoned Spouses will tell you that deployments never get any easier, but you will always grow stronger after each one.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Is Jenny McCarthy the Poster child for Sanctimonious Parents?

It appears lately that we have had an influx of Sanctimonious Parents on the blogs, pages and just general day to day. I have never been one to criticize the parenting choices of others. What you do with your children is your business, unless it boarders on abuse. So with the recent addition of Jenny McCarthy to The View, I can understand why a lot of parents are taken back by ABC's choice to hire her to replace Elizabeth Hassleback.This has spawned a whole new level of you are wrong and I am right arguments. I know my stance.

I am not going to sit here and say that she is a bad mother. She apparently like the rest of us wanted the best for her child. Any parent would be that. What I have issue with, is her need to spread false hope to the world of Autism Parents, with her "Cures", " Diets" and her "Google MD". I know she has all the money in the world to afford the best cures, the best food and be able to fly anywhere in the world to take her child to various Doctors. That is great for her. But lets take a look at the average everyday person, who is currently battling the system just to get basic services from their insurance. They are paying out of pocket for a lot of stuff. Not everyone can afford the top notch food. Heck most of us are lucky to afford organic or even gluten free. Having a special needs child can deplete the money.  She doesn't factor that in when she talks about everything she has done. I don't agree with a lot of what she done with her son, but that is her business. But if you don't follow her ideals, you are wrong, in her eyes. 

I don't have an issue with this woman's stance on inoculations.  To each their own. But it doesn't just stop there. According to Ms.McCarthy, if you don't agree with a lot of her stances on things you are not considered one of her "Warrior Moms" but a "Victim Mom". I take issue with that. As it gives all those Sanctimonious Parents out there a Celebrity Cheerleader. She is more than welcome to have her own opinion on things. But this whole thing to generalize a group of people that don't agree with your current stance of things is wrong. I don't agree with that.

If she wants to blast parents for making the decisions they need for their children,then we have every right to blast her for her choices. She thinks she lives the everyday life of the average person. She doesn't. I bet she doesn't know that the military right now is fighting for ABA services. A service that has been proven to not cure, but help those with Autism. I am willing to bet she wouldn't put her money where her mouth is and lend Us her voice. I know most of us don't think her spread in Playboy in the name of Autism Awareness was classy. And lets face it, Autism was the last thing in people's minds as they looked at her naked breasts.

Do you know who is a strong Celebrity voice for Autism, people like Holly Robinson Peete. A woman that goes up against Rap Stars for their usage of derogatory language towards Special Needs in their songs. A woman that celebrates her children. Accepts her children for who they are.She has yet to call out parents that have a difference of opinion.

I feel bad for all those who think they are "Victim Parents" because Jenny McCarthy thinks so. We are all "Warriors" or "Fighters" in our own right. We have all taken our child's diagnosis and did the best we could to ensure them the best possible life we could give them. We have fought the schools and the insurance companies. Many of us are still fighting. We don't need some B Celebrity telling us that we are doing it wrong for the choices we have made. She did what she thought were good choices for her life. And sadly not everyone lives the life of a Playboy Centerfold.

I don't dislike her for her stances on things. To each their own. I dislike her because she judges those who don't conform to her ideals. And that is wrong.