Friday, August 16, 2013

It never gets easy.. Ever.

Whoever said being a military spouse was easy was living a lie. Sure it has its perks. But the reality is it is a hard life to live. I write this as we are two weeks out before my husband deploys (again). Sure it is familiar territory, but every deployment is never the same.

 I sit here wondering if we made the right choice. See we tried to get him orders to stay. But as the Military is, they didn't want to work with us. So here we are faced with an 18 month deployment. A deployment that is going to keep our kids in an area where they will benefit from the education as well as their medical needs, but a deployment that is going to send my husband across the globe. This is a Sacrifice we made with our marriage and his involvement in his children's lives. But I often wonder if we made the right choice. I mean we could have been stationed somewhere else, but there was a huge part of me that didn't want to restart a battle for not one but three kids in a new area for all their individual needs. So here we are.

It never gets easy, ever.  Watching the Seabag get packed. Making sure all the official documents are in order. And all the rushed things that need to get done before the final day arrives. You squeeze so much into two weeks. The date nights( that happen when you have awesome people look after your kids), all the various activities that each child wants to do with their parent that is leaving and then when it is all done, its time to leave. We sit there and ask ourselves, where did the time go? Why can't we have just 24 more hours.

In a way I guess I have it easier than the spouses that paved the way for me. I can look forward to the Skyping and emails. But there is still that common feeling that we all have of missing our spouses. Of Course, we sailor and soldier on as that is what sets us apart. Our ability to put a brave face on and take on whatever life throws at us.But in that, we quietly know deep down that sometimes it sucks. It sucks hard. Military Spouses are allowed to have that.

So in two weeks or so, You will have to pardon me if I am emotional. You will have to pardon me if my heart feels a little sad. Even the seasoned Spouses will tell you that deployments never get any easier, but you will always grow stronger after each one.