Hi there!
I am sure you don't remember me. I am one of the countless people you have encountered in your day that you have not given a second thought to. That is ok. I wouldn't expect you to remember those people who's day you have made worse because you didn't have one ounce of decency towards your fellow human beings. Its ok, I get it. Most of us get it, the world moves at a slow pace than you do, and you being the most important person to ever live, we must somehow must step aside and let you do your thing.
But here is the trick with that way of thinking, it well sucks. I am going to blow your mind here.You are not the only person on this planet that has places to go and things to get done. Let that sink in a little bit.
So when you are the person that calls the bus company to complain about a school bus taking up too much of your time, because you are running late or that you want to get home, this is what happens. That bus now has find another way to drop the kids that it's transporting back and forth to school. Sometimes the route they have to take is the safest to get the kids on and off the bus. But little did you know that the bus you called to complain about is a bus that is carrying special needs children and that maybe, just maybe the route they were taking was the safest for both parent and child to get on and off the bus. So now, that parent and that child have to get on a bus on one of the busiest streets where most people don't pay much attention the bright yellow bus with flashing lights. Getting stuck behind a school bus slows you down. But think about this, if this was your child or someone you loved, getting on and off a bus, won't you want them to be safe?
So when you were so quick to complain about one school bus, I bet you didn't even stop to think why this bus had the route it did. I don't expect you to understand. But let me tell you why this bothers me. I have a child that bolts. He is autistic. And if there was ever a chance that he got out of my grasp and bolted into the street in front of the bus and into the traffic that doesn't pay attention, then what happens? And who is at fault? Not you. Not the person who didn't care enough about the safety of the children on that bus, as it inconvenienced you for all of five minutes if that. And I am sure you are the type of person that curses and swears when you get stuck behind the bus or the person who thinks its ok to not stop when the bus is flashing it's lights.
So I hope that one day, if you have children or children in your life, that you love as fiercely as I do my children that you hope to god they make it safely back and forth to school. Whether or not they take the bus. As your complaint about my son's bus inconveniencing you on your daily drive, because you are impatient and can't wait for a child to get off a bus safely, shows me just what kind of person you are. One that needs to slow down and be considerate to those who are around you. And then maybe, when the tables are turned and we have to wait for you, you just might get a dose of an impatient person. Good luck with that.
Very Respectfully,
Mother of a Bus Rider.
Friday, September 12, 2014
Monday, September 8, 2014
When is it going to start being an issue...
By now most of the football loving nation has been aware that Ray Rice, the running back for the Baltimore Ravens, has been cut from the team, due in part because of a video that depicts him punching his then fiance out as if he was in a boxing ring and he was going rounds with Mike Tyson. I am deeply sadden at the way this has all been reacted to and how poorly it has been taken care of.
Mr. Rice is just one of many superstars that have gotten away with something that is illegal. Since the dawn of time, domestic violence has been looked upon as something that can be swept under the rug, ignored like the make up that covers the bruises. But this is now something that even the NFL and other organizations cannot ignore.
As hard as it was for me, as a survivor of Domestic Violence, to sit and watch a man in a very small space, knock out his woman, like a neanderthal, failing at the attempt to drag his woman back to his cave, I can't even fathom what its like for her. Janay Rice, now has to sit back and see all the comments that condemn her because that video pretty much killed her husband's career. She is now the ending joke to asshat reporters on FOX news, who have no idea what its like to be abused by their spouse. But the sad reality of it is this, there are millions of people out there who are abused by their spouses, every single day that are sitting in their own misery watching this play out. And like a shitty play by play that gets repeated, most of us who did manage to find the courage to walk away, are sitting here, know exactly why Janay Rice went ahead and married him anyway.
I am not going to sugar coat things or make domestic violence look even remotely pretty. Because its not. It is an ugly, rage-ful, controlling aspect of certain human beings that need to feel better about themselves. And for us people that find their way into their web, it is a struggle to get out of. Not only are you griped with the fear of pissing this person off, but you have absolutely no self worth to say to yourself that you deserve better. This person has beaten you down both emotionally and physically. To the point where you start believe them, when they tell you that you deserve nothing better except what they are offering. They break you, until you are nothing but the shell they can control. So when you sit there and ask "Well why don't they leave?" Its not as easy as getting up and walking out that front door. You first have to find within yourself the courage to do so. You have to find that part of you that still makes you, you. But when you find that, whether it be instantaneous or if it takes awhile, you then can start realizing that you are worth more than just someone's control thing.
For all the Janay Rices out there, You are not alone. Not for one second. There are places you can go. There are numbers you can call 1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 ( National Domestic Violence Hotline)that will help you and keep you safe. It isn't going to easy and it is going to suck a whole lot of shit. But know that there are people out there that will be there to catch you if you fall.
I needed to write about this. Domestic Violence is never ok. Not Ever. It is never, ever ok to even joke about it. And for those who seem to feel some sense of sympathy for Mr. Rice, I want you really take a long hard look at the man you seem to want to support. The man that almost got away with beating the shit out of his wife. Eventually, it will all come back to haunt you.
As for the NFL and other big organizations, the fact that you are now just making a stand about this, is truly sad. Because if that video hadn't shed some light on the misogynist game you all play, I am willing to bet that you wouldn't have players to play your game.
Mr. Rice is just one of many superstars that have gotten away with something that is illegal. Since the dawn of time, domestic violence has been looked upon as something that can be swept under the rug, ignored like the make up that covers the bruises. But this is now something that even the NFL and other organizations cannot ignore.
As hard as it was for me, as a survivor of Domestic Violence, to sit and watch a man in a very small space, knock out his woman, like a neanderthal, failing at the attempt to drag his woman back to his cave, I can't even fathom what its like for her. Janay Rice, now has to sit back and see all the comments that condemn her because that video pretty much killed her husband's career. She is now the ending joke to asshat reporters on FOX news, who have no idea what its like to be abused by their spouse. But the sad reality of it is this, there are millions of people out there who are abused by their spouses, every single day that are sitting in their own misery watching this play out. And like a shitty play by play that gets repeated, most of us who did manage to find the courage to walk away, are sitting here, know exactly why Janay Rice went ahead and married him anyway.
I am not going to sugar coat things or make domestic violence look even remotely pretty. Because its not. It is an ugly, rage-ful, controlling aspect of certain human beings that need to feel better about themselves. And for us people that find their way into their web, it is a struggle to get out of. Not only are you griped with the fear of pissing this person off, but you have absolutely no self worth to say to yourself that you deserve better. This person has beaten you down both emotionally and physically. To the point where you start believe them, when they tell you that you deserve nothing better except what they are offering. They break you, until you are nothing but the shell they can control. So when you sit there and ask "Well why don't they leave?" Its not as easy as getting up and walking out that front door. You first have to find within yourself the courage to do so. You have to find that part of you that still makes you, you. But when you find that, whether it be instantaneous or if it takes awhile, you then can start realizing that you are worth more than just someone's control thing.
For all the Janay Rices out there, You are not alone. Not for one second. There are places you can go. There are numbers you can call 1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 ( National Domestic Violence Hotline)that will help you and keep you safe. It isn't going to easy and it is going to suck a whole lot of shit. But know that there are people out there that will be there to catch you if you fall.
I needed to write about this. Domestic Violence is never ok. Not Ever. It is never, ever ok to even joke about it. And for those who seem to feel some sense of sympathy for Mr. Rice, I want you really take a long hard look at the man you seem to want to support. The man that almost got away with beating the shit out of his wife. Eventually, it will all come back to haunt you.
As for the NFL and other big organizations, the fact that you are now just making a stand about this, is truly sad. Because if that video hadn't shed some light on the misogynist game you all play, I am willing to bet that you wouldn't have players to play your game.
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Standing on the outside, looking in...
It is not a big secret that people with Autism have a hard time trying to find their footing in the social sphere. Either their stimming or social awkwardness tends to put people off. Which very quickly makes them the targets of the bullies of the world. But has anyone ever asked a person with Autism what it is like to try and navigate through this world that doesn't fully understand them, yet let alone accept them?
I ask these questions, as more and more stories are becoming news worthy of bullying those with special needs. As a parent of a children who are special needs, I often wonder what its like for them trying to make friends or trying to fit in to clique. Imagine standing outside of a place that you so desperately want to get into, not having the tools or the courage to either get in or walk inside. They try and try to find a way in, but in the end it is unsuccessful. Watching your ASD child go through this is heartbreaking, as you know just what kind of special person they are. In fact its quite painful.
Watching my daughter, especially trying to become her own person in a world that doesn't understand her, is both terrifying and enlightening. It is a learning experience for her as much as it is for me. I remember when I was her age and the cruelty of the children in my class towards those who were different. It was a different time, but attitudes remain the same at this level. For her, I see the emergence of self awareness. Knowing who she is, but with that comes the vulnerability of letting the outside world see her for who she is. Watching her try to figure out why she is excluded from things. Or why she gets dropped when a cooler kids comes around. I can see those gears turning inside her head, but she has that look of being on the outside looking in. That sense of maybe this is not where I belong.Trying to find people who will stick by her.. I know in time, she will find her own tribe. The people who will love her for who she is. The people that will see past what makes her different. The people who call upon her to share in laughter and friendship. But right now, she is trying find a way in. Trying to find those people who will open the door and let her in. As she is learning how to deal with the social sphere of being an Autistic, I want her to know that she is important. That she is worthy of people who accept her and see past the autism. It will be a hard lesson for both her and I to learn. It doesn't stop with just my daughter, even though, my youngest is still young, its how the world accepts him that I worry about.
Children with Autism, are misunderstood. Society sees the meltdowns, the over stimulation, the delays or every other thing that is associated with Autism. They see the non verbal child as dumb or unresponsive. But what they don't see, is this child that is full of life. Full of love. Full of so much to offer as a human being. They are unforgiving to those who shun them, for all they want to have is companionship. A friend.
Teach your children what it means to include and accept someone that is different from them. Children learn from example. Even though my children may seem different from the rest of the world, they are taught to see everyone as an equal. No one is less of a person because of how and who they are. They are still human beings with emotions and the ability to feel. Just because they might not have the tools to express fully how they are feeling doesn't mean they don't feel sad or hurt when you treat them differently or negatively.
Do me a favor...
I want people to imagine standing outside a place you really want to go into. A restaurant or a store, whatever that place may be, and for what ever reason you are not capable of going into that place. And as you are standing outside trying to look in, what do you feel? That desire and need to go it but can't. Sense of defeat and sadness right? Damn I wish I could go in there. Looks fun. That is what it feels when you exclude a person from your social sphere. And sadly, that is what many ASD children feel like when trying to fit in. Be that person that opens the door and welcomes them in, to place that is supportive and accepting.
Sunday, August 31, 2014
The Game Changer..
When we have children, we have plans. They are not even out of the womb and we have plans.God did we have so many plans. To think back, we parents started planning our future and the little human we carried future the minute we found out we had created something wonderful. We had all these hopes and dreams that we wanted for our little ones. Maybe the next President of the United States or that professional sports player. Or maybe just a decent human being that we as parents could be proud of in our old age. All these plans that we put into place when we started having our kids. So what happens when you have something that puts roadblocks in front of your plans. Those little things that life throws at you, just to make things interesting.
I am not going lie or sugar coat things, that when a parent is sitting in a doctor's office hearing news that will forever change not only their lives but the life of their child, that there is a range of emotions that occur. No parent wants to hear that there is something ultimately wrong with their child. Whether it be a disease, a syndrome or a disorder. It doesn't matter how big or how small this "thing" is, its a game changer. You look at this child, this sweet, sweet child and all of us think to ourselves, quietly, Why them? Why does it have to be them? We have our periods of disbelief. That we can't fathom, just what this means. And there are some of us, that refuse to acknowledge what is going on. We see those plans that we hoped and dreamed about flash before us and they are almost like watching a balloon float into the sky. We try to grasp at it, but it is beyond our reach. We are all but lost to our emotions and that sense of dread. Most of us grieve, not for the child, but for what the foreseeable future will hold for them We grieve for the battles they will have to fight, as we know it is a cruel, cruel world out there. These feelings are very common when parents get news about their child, that alters the way they will have to live their lives. Its ok. Its ok to be angry. Its ok to be sad. Its going to be hard, but you will get through this.
At times, when we get news about our children we want to know everything there is to know about what is affecting them. And we want to know how we can fix it. But for some, it isn't an issue of fixing it, its the way to live with something. Its how to adapt. Work with something rather than against it. Sometimes that means more doctor's appointments, medication or just changing your lifestyle to include every aspect of your child. Beyond the labels, there is still this child that needs to grow and prosper.
The important thing is when you get difficult news that concerns your child, is they are still the same child that you look upon with wonder. They are still the same child that pushes your buttons. They are still that little human, that made you parents in the first place. And without them, you wouldn't know what its like to be selfless or compassionate. They are the ones that teach us how to fight.
You haven't stopped being their parent or loving them any less. Now instead of playing that one game you know the rules to, you are playing just a different game, with slightly different rules, but the team is still the same.
I am not going lie or sugar coat things, that when a parent is sitting in a doctor's office hearing news that will forever change not only their lives but the life of their child, that there is a range of emotions that occur. No parent wants to hear that there is something ultimately wrong with their child. Whether it be a disease, a syndrome or a disorder. It doesn't matter how big or how small this "thing" is, its a game changer. You look at this child, this sweet, sweet child and all of us think to ourselves, quietly, Why them? Why does it have to be them? We have our periods of disbelief. That we can't fathom, just what this means. And there are some of us, that refuse to acknowledge what is going on. We see those plans that we hoped and dreamed about flash before us and they are almost like watching a balloon float into the sky. We try to grasp at it, but it is beyond our reach. We are all but lost to our emotions and that sense of dread. Most of us grieve, not for the child, but for what the foreseeable future will hold for them We grieve for the battles they will have to fight, as we know it is a cruel, cruel world out there. These feelings are very common when parents get news about their child, that alters the way they will have to live their lives. Its ok. Its ok to be angry. Its ok to be sad. Its going to be hard, but you will get through this.
At times, when we get news about our children we want to know everything there is to know about what is affecting them. And we want to know how we can fix it. But for some, it isn't an issue of fixing it, its the way to live with something. Its how to adapt. Work with something rather than against it. Sometimes that means more doctor's appointments, medication or just changing your lifestyle to include every aspect of your child. Beyond the labels, there is still this child that needs to grow and prosper.
The important thing is when you get difficult news that concerns your child, is they are still the same child that you look upon with wonder. They are still the same child that pushes your buttons. They are still that little human, that made you parents in the first place. And without them, you wouldn't know what its like to be selfless or compassionate. They are the ones that teach us how to fight.
You haven't stopped being their parent or loving them any less. Now instead of playing that one game you know the rules to, you are playing just a different game, with slightly different rules, but the team is still the same.
Thursday, August 21, 2014
The Jealous Parent...
I will be the first one to admit that from time to time I get jealous about things. I am, after all only human. I know that there are certain things that are beyond my control when it comes to the life that I live. This is a natural feeling. We all get jealous over the things that could be, the things we want or the person we all want to be. Anyone who sits there and says they don't get jealous, is lying to themselves.
For a lot of us parents, our jealousy is harboured through our children. Mainly because they have been pushed to their limits, whether it be through sports, academics or even lifestyle. But for some of us who have children that aren't quite part of that world, our jealousy is a bit different. It isn't a competition for us to see who's child is better at what sport or who got all the scholarships. For us, its those moments when we have gotten to the point of no return with our children, when the stimming or the perservations are so bad, that we have that guilty, that very guilty thought of how we wish it could be different. To have that one day where we don't have the world staring at us or telling us off. To have that one school year where it isn't such an uphill battle with your child's educators. Or even to have that one thing, whether it be sports, a club or an activity, that your child is accepted into, disorders and diseases put aside. That guilty little thought does not make us bad parents. It makes us human. It shows that we want better for our children.
I think a lot of us special needs parents often look at things like dance, sports or band, as something we longingly wish our children were a part of. In a way we are sort of jealous of the fact that most children can do stuff like that and not have worry about their stimming or inability to relate socially with their peers. And for us parents, its hard to watch. We get that tinge of jealousy. As we want our children to have something like that. Now don't get me wrong, I know there are groups out there, that accept special needs children into their organizations, but they are very few.
The simple little things in life also strike a chord with us. Date nights, a dinner out (without the stares) or even getting the four things we need from Target. We don't mean to be jealous, but it would be nice if we could get out and do those things with the peace of mind that someone we trust is looking after our kids. Finding a decent babysitter that understands what it takes to look after special needs children are slim. Most of us are begging relatives or family friends who understand to come out to look after our children. There are some nights that we wouldn't kill just to not have to worry.
I write this and I want people to know that its not a personal kind of jealousy. Its more of a "Gee, that would nice.. " kind. Most of parents are happy to see things go according to plan. We love to see children succeed. And in the end we do count our blessings. We cherish our children. So please don't be upset with a special needs parent who might be a little envious of your good fortune. I guess just be a little understanding that we struggle. Sometimes days at a time or hours in the day. And maybe after talking about the good things in your life, ask the special needs parent if there is anything you can do to help.
For a lot of us parents, our jealousy is harboured through our children. Mainly because they have been pushed to their limits, whether it be through sports, academics or even lifestyle. But for some of us who have children that aren't quite part of that world, our jealousy is a bit different. It isn't a competition for us to see who's child is better at what sport or who got all the scholarships. For us, its those moments when we have gotten to the point of no return with our children, when the stimming or the perservations are so bad, that we have that guilty, that very guilty thought of how we wish it could be different. To have that one day where we don't have the world staring at us or telling us off. To have that one school year where it isn't such an uphill battle with your child's educators. Or even to have that one thing, whether it be sports, a club or an activity, that your child is accepted into, disorders and diseases put aside. That guilty little thought does not make us bad parents. It makes us human. It shows that we want better for our children.
I think a lot of us special needs parents often look at things like dance, sports or band, as something we longingly wish our children were a part of. In a way we are sort of jealous of the fact that most children can do stuff like that and not have worry about their stimming or inability to relate socially with their peers. And for us parents, its hard to watch. We get that tinge of jealousy. As we want our children to have something like that. Now don't get me wrong, I know there are groups out there, that accept special needs children into their organizations, but they are very few.
The simple little things in life also strike a chord with us. Date nights, a dinner out (without the stares) or even getting the four things we need from Target. We don't mean to be jealous, but it would be nice if we could get out and do those things with the peace of mind that someone we trust is looking after our kids. Finding a decent babysitter that understands what it takes to look after special needs children are slim. Most of us are begging relatives or family friends who understand to come out to look after our children. There are some nights that we wouldn't kill just to not have to worry.
I write this and I want people to know that its not a personal kind of jealousy. Its more of a "Gee, that would nice.. " kind. Most of parents are happy to see things go according to plan. We love to see children succeed. And in the end we do count our blessings. We cherish our children. So please don't be upset with a special needs parent who might be a little envious of your good fortune. I guess just be a little understanding that we struggle. Sometimes days at a time or hours in the day. And maybe after talking about the good things in your life, ask the special needs parent if there is anything you can do to help.
Sunday, August 17, 2014
The day I told Autism to F*CK OFF...
I know that I am going to get a lot of flack for the title alone. But please hear me out. I, like many other families out there, either are struggling with how to correctly care for our autistic loved ones or dealing with the outside world's prospective of what living with Autism actually is like, are tired. Tired of a lot things that get associated or even our reality when it comes to Autism. That doesn't mean to say that we dislike or hate our loved ones, but its to say that we are run down, tired, exhausted and quite frankly just a tad annoyed, again not at the person, but the disorder. Autism, like many other things that a human can have, has its moments of "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT??!" We can hate a disease, as we see what it can to do people we love. So with that, the day I told Autism to fuck off.
Anyone who reads my blog or follows me on Facebook and or Twitter, knows that I am a mother of three very awesome children. Three amazing little persons that I am truly in awe of. But as a parent, especially looking at the two that are on the spectrum, I see their struggle with trying to find themselves. Trying to navigate through this world, that is magnified beyond my own comprehension. I see their struggle just to feel part of a group, no matter how hard they try, there is always going to be a time where they are not going to be accepted. I see their struggle just to try and understand tasks that are put in front of them. Things that can be so basic to you and I, are some of the toughest for them.No parent wants to see their child struggle, and yes I know that struggle is a part of life, but its two fold for those who have Autism. They have to work harder more than the average person.
I always say that life is what you make of it. Its going to be challenging at times or it can be breeze. Most of us special needs parents are presented with a nice wide range of difficulties when we try to make sure our children prosper and grow. It doesn't matter where we are or who we are with, since a good portion of the general public refuses to educate themselves, we are always going to be up against those who feel the need to cast the stares, whisper under abated breath or even have the balls to come and tell us our children need to be institutionalized. No one is going to do that if your child isn't stimming, flapping their limbs or screeching like a banshee because they can't help it. No one is going look at you twice if your child is sitting quietly in a stroller. For some reason, its ok to do that to parents and caregivers of those who are Autistic.
As a parent of special needs children, I am well within my right to be annoyed and angry at something that causes my children strife. I am allowed to feel the way I do, as I am the person that eats.sleeps and breathes what causes my children to struggle. I know in my heart that it isn't my children's fault that this is the life they were given. But god damn it, in my sleep depraved state, I am allowed to not like disease or disorder my children have.
So on those days, where the ignorance is running high, I am working on maybe 2 hours of sleep, the stimming is off the charts, the perservations and the scripting are enough to make a saint lose their patience and I am holding it together with a cup of coffee, a prayer and the strength to know this too shall pass, yeah Autism can fuck off.
Again I will state, that I love my children with every shred of my being. I will go to the ends of this god forsaken planet in order for them to have a fulfilling life on their terms. It ain't going to be easy and the path is going to suck, but that is my job as a parent.
Anyone who reads my blog or follows me on Facebook and or Twitter, knows that I am a mother of three very awesome children. Three amazing little persons that I am truly in awe of. But as a parent, especially looking at the two that are on the spectrum, I see their struggle with trying to find themselves. Trying to navigate through this world, that is magnified beyond my own comprehension. I see their struggle just to feel part of a group, no matter how hard they try, there is always going to be a time where they are not going to be accepted. I see their struggle just to try and understand tasks that are put in front of them. Things that can be so basic to you and I, are some of the toughest for them.No parent wants to see their child struggle, and yes I know that struggle is a part of life, but its two fold for those who have Autism. They have to work harder more than the average person.
I always say that life is what you make of it. Its going to be challenging at times or it can be breeze. Most of us special needs parents are presented with a nice wide range of difficulties when we try to make sure our children prosper and grow. It doesn't matter where we are or who we are with, since a good portion of the general public refuses to educate themselves, we are always going to be up against those who feel the need to cast the stares, whisper under abated breath or even have the balls to come and tell us our children need to be institutionalized. No one is going to do that if your child isn't stimming, flapping their limbs or screeching like a banshee because they can't help it. No one is going look at you twice if your child is sitting quietly in a stroller. For some reason, its ok to do that to parents and caregivers of those who are Autistic.
As a parent of special needs children, I am well within my right to be annoyed and angry at something that causes my children strife. I am allowed to feel the way I do, as I am the person that eats.sleeps and breathes what causes my children to struggle. I know in my heart that it isn't my children's fault that this is the life they were given. But god damn it, in my sleep depraved state, I am allowed to not like disease or disorder my children have.
So on those days, where the ignorance is running high, I am working on maybe 2 hours of sleep, the stimming is off the charts, the perservations and the scripting are enough to make a saint lose their patience and I am holding it together with a cup of coffee, a prayer and the strength to know this too shall pass, yeah Autism can fuck off.
Again I will state, that I love my children with every shred of my being. I will go to the ends of this god forsaken planet in order for them to have a fulfilling life on their terms. It ain't going to be easy and the path is going to suck, but that is my job as a parent.
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Robin Williams: Why his passing means so much..
It isn't a well kept secret that Hollywood with all of it's glamour, lights and sparkle has it's dark corners. It's stories of scandal, drugs and infamous torrid tales of jealousy and murder. But there are few good gems that have come out of the celebrity mish-mash. The ones despite their own demons, still try effortlessly, to use their fame for good. One such wonder was Robin Williams.
As many of us are still in shock from last night's announcement, I, myself, am floored. He wasn't just a man of many comedic talents. Yes he was a funny, funny man and earned the right to be called the King of Improv. His talent wasn't just thinking on the fly. He had brought so many great performances to our screens. From John Keating from Dead Poets Society to Hector from Being Human. But it was Perry from The Fisher King that resonated with me. He portrayed a man bound by mental illness, but who managed to help another from the depths of suicide and depression. A relationship that both helped, Parry and Jack. In a way, his experiences in life and being so open about them have helped so many with their demons. In my mind it was one of Mr. Williams best roles. Which says a lot as there are so many.
The passing of Robin Williams is a tragic loss. Not just to Hollywood, but to the many people he helped. From St. Jude's Hospital to doing USO tours. He was one of the biggest champions for mental health. He battled his demons on a very public stage. He didn't shy way from admitting that, he too, was depressed or that he had used drugs to self medicate. If anything he wanted people to learn from him. If not from his public battles but from the roles he took in life.
Like so many tragic deaths that happen in the Celebrity world, its the ones that touch our lives in the most honest ways, that have the biggest impact. Robin Williams' death hit like a wave. A wave of sudden sadness. For those of us who suffer from depression, anxiety or any number of mental illness, we know the pain Mr. Williams had felt. We know that point of no return. If anything should come from this man's passing, it should be more education when it comes to Mental Health. It should be that people aren't always what they seem. The funniest man in the world was also the saddest.
Mr. Williams, I hope that the pain you felt inside your heart has lifted. I hope that you are now able to soar. I hope that when you look down upon us, you will see the light you have given us. Through your generosity, your smile and your immense talent to bring love and laughter to the world that solely needs it, we are grateful for the gifts you have given us.
"It begins with the king as a boy, having to spend the night alone in the forest to prove his courage so he can become king. Now while he is spending the night alone he's visited by a sacred vision. Out of the fire appears the holy grail, symbol of God's divine grace. And a voice said to the boy, "You shall be keeper of the grail so that it may heal the hearts of men." But the boy was blinded by greater visions of a life filled with power and glory and beauty. And in this state of radical amazement he felt for a brief moment not like a boy, but invincible, like God, so he reached into the fire to take the grail, and the grail vanished, leaving him with his hand in the fire to be terribly wounded. Now as this boy grew older, his wound grew deeper. Until one day, life for him lost its reason. He had no faith in any man, not even himself. He couldn't love or feel loved. He was sick with experience. He began to die. One day a fool wandered into the castle and found the king alone. And being a fool, he was simple minded, he didn't see a king. He only saw a man alone and in pain. And he asked the king, "What ails you friend?" The king replied, "I'm thirsty. I need some water to cool my throat". So the fool took a cup from beside his bed, filled it with water and handed it to the king. As the king began to drink, he realized his wound was healed. He looked in his hands and there was the holy grail, that which he sought all of his life. And he turned to the fool and said with amazement, "How can you find that which my brightest and bravest could not?" And the fool replied, "I don't know. I only knew that you were thirsty."- Parry, The Fisher King (1991)
As many of us are still in shock from last night's announcement, I, myself, am floored. He wasn't just a man of many comedic talents. Yes he was a funny, funny man and earned the right to be called the King of Improv. His talent wasn't just thinking on the fly. He had brought so many great performances to our screens. From John Keating from Dead Poets Society to Hector from Being Human. But it was Perry from The Fisher King that resonated with me. He portrayed a man bound by mental illness, but who managed to help another from the depths of suicide and depression. A relationship that both helped, Parry and Jack. In a way, his experiences in life and being so open about them have helped so many with their demons. In my mind it was one of Mr. Williams best roles. Which says a lot as there are so many.
The passing of Robin Williams is a tragic loss. Not just to Hollywood, but to the many people he helped. From St. Jude's Hospital to doing USO tours. He was one of the biggest champions for mental health. He battled his demons on a very public stage. He didn't shy way from admitting that, he too, was depressed or that he had used drugs to self medicate. If anything he wanted people to learn from him. If not from his public battles but from the roles he took in life.
Mr. Williams, I hope that the pain you felt inside your heart has lifted. I hope that you are now able to soar. I hope that when you look down upon us, you will see the light you have given us. Through your generosity, your smile and your immense talent to bring love and laughter to the world that solely needs it, we are grateful for the gifts you have given us.
"It begins with the king as a boy, having to spend the night alone in the forest to prove his courage so he can become king. Now while he is spending the night alone he's visited by a sacred vision. Out of the fire appears the holy grail, symbol of God's divine grace. And a voice said to the boy, "You shall be keeper of the grail so that it may heal the hearts of men." But the boy was blinded by greater visions of a life filled with power and glory and beauty. And in this state of radical amazement he felt for a brief moment not like a boy, but invincible, like God, so he reached into the fire to take the grail, and the grail vanished, leaving him with his hand in the fire to be terribly wounded. Now as this boy grew older, his wound grew deeper. Until one day, life for him lost its reason. He had no faith in any man, not even himself. He couldn't love or feel loved. He was sick with experience. He began to die. One day a fool wandered into the castle and found the king alone. And being a fool, he was simple minded, he didn't see a king. He only saw a man alone and in pain. And he asked the king, "What ails you friend?" The king replied, "I'm thirsty. I need some water to cool my throat". So the fool took a cup from beside his bed, filled it with water and handed it to the king. As the king began to drink, he realized his wound was healed. He looked in his hands and there was the holy grail, that which he sought all of his life. And he turned to the fool and said with amazement, "How can you find that which my brightest and bravest could not?" And the fool replied, "I don't know. I only knew that you were thirsty."- Parry, The Fisher King (1991)
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