Sunday, August 31, 2014

The Game Changer..

When we have children, we have  plans. They are not even out of the womb and we have plans.God did we have so many plans. To think back, we parents started planning our future and the little human we carried future the minute we found out we had created something wonderful. We had all these hopes and dreams that we wanted for our little ones. Maybe the next President of the United States or that professional sports player. Or maybe just a decent human being that we as parents could be proud of in our old age. All these plans that we put into place when we started having our kids. So what happens when you have something that puts roadblocks in front of your plans. Those little things that life throws at you, just to make things interesting.

I am not going lie or sugar coat things, that when a parent is sitting in a doctor's office hearing news that will forever change not only their lives but the life of their child, that there is a range of emotions that occur. No parent wants to hear that there is something ultimately wrong with their child. Whether it be a disease, a syndrome or a disorder. It doesn't matter how big or how small this "thing" is, its a game changer. You look at this child, this sweet, sweet child and all of us think to ourselves, quietly, Why them? Why does it have to be them? We have our periods of disbelief. That we can't fathom, just what this means. And there are some of us, that refuse to acknowledge what is going on. We see those plans that we hoped and dreamed about flash before us and they are almost like watching a balloon float into the sky. We try to grasp at it, but it is beyond our reach. We are all but lost to our emotions and that sense of dread. Most of us grieve, not for the child, but for what the foreseeable future will hold for them We grieve for the battles they will have to fight, as we know it is a cruel, cruel world out there. These feelings are very common when parents get news about their child, that alters the way they will have to live their lives. Its ok. Its ok to be angry. Its ok to be sad. Its going to be hard, but you will get through this. 

At times, when we get news about our children we want to know everything there is to know about what is affecting them. And we want to know how we can fix it. But for some, it isn't an issue of fixing it, its the way to live with something. Its how to adapt. Work with something rather than against it. Sometimes that means more doctor's appointments, medication or just changing your lifestyle to include every aspect of your child. Beyond the labels, there is still this child that needs to grow and prosper.

The important thing is when you get difficult news that concerns your child, is they are still the same child that you look upon with wonder. They are still the same child that pushes your buttons. They are still that little human, that made you parents in the first place. And without them, you wouldn't know what its like to be selfless or compassionate. They are the ones that teach us how to fight.

 You haven't stopped being their parent or loving them any less. Now instead of playing that one game you know the rules to, you are playing just a different game, with slightly different rules, but the team is still the same.