Sunday, April 14, 2013

I live in a Special Needs World..

I am going to start this  by saying that I love my children. I love them with all my heart. Everything about them I love. These are the children that are the product of my husband and I. Both of us would go to the ends of the earth if need be for these children. Just to make sure they thrived and were able to achieve their dreams.

For us Parents that have the difficult task of parenting special needs children, it is hard for us sometimes.Its hard for us to not look at other children and think " I wish my child could do that". Its the things that most parents wouldn't give a second thought about. Things like, feeding oneself, dressing oneself, riding a bike or even potty training. Simple things that come easy to children without special needs. They always say not to compare. As children go at their own pace. But we all do it. Secretly. Its there in the back of our minds. We all wish that our children would just do those things or more. Sometimes to us Special Needs Parents, especially when we have had a full day of meltdowns, over stimulation or a day where we have just spent a whole morning arguing with the school over an IEP, the last thing we need to see a child who is capable of doing everything your child should be doing, shoved in our faces. I know that sounds harsh. I will be the first one to admit that I have those feelings sometimes. Its not because you dislike the child, but you yearn for the day your own child would do things. You wouldn't have to worry so much. You wouldn't have to fight so hard to make sure your child is getting everything they need just to help them along.

I don't want to come across as hating the neurotypical child. I don't. I do think that sometimes it is hard for us parents that have some many other challenges, besides the regular ones,for us to feel sorry sometimes if you can't get your child to clean their room or that they got a B+ instead of an A. I know we all have our challenges. I just think that sometimes, we the Special Needs Parents, would like to have a "Gimme" Just something that we don't have to worry about or have to fight for.

I think we just want those small victories we have to be recognized. Like if you have a once non verbal child, all of a sudden they said a word. Or a child that has been struggling with a certain subject and they come home with a good grade.For us Special Needs parents its all about the small stuff. As we know it will turn into something bigger. Its like watching dominoes. Once the child has mastered one thing, it opens the door for something else. All those small steps are monumental to a Special Needs Parent. We celebrate those because we know our child is moving forward. Something is happening. The fight for services and getting those services were for not. I think that is why so many of us think parents of non special needs children, don't understand why we are the way we are. Or why we get frustrated. Or why it bugs us when it is always in our face of what our child should be doing at this age.

Every Child is special. They all have their uniqueness about them. Some see the world differently from others. Some learn differently. In the grand scheme of things, most of us parents just want what is best for our children. We all travel different paths. I think my main thought for this, is acceptance. My struggles are different from your struggles. And that its sometimes hard for me to see the neuro typical world when I live in a world that is filled with special children who have very special needs.