Friday, January 16, 2015
ATTENTION KMART SHOPPERS!!! Autism.... Aisle 9!!!
I get it. I really do. My children are unique. In every sense of the word. Not because they are just children,who have every right to exist in this adult world, but children who at any given day will test the limits of not only my patience, but the patience of every canonized saint. They are unique to how they respond to the rest of the world, which includes you. I get that they will take you out of your comfort zone. I know that when you are out trying to do your errands, like grocery shop, stand in line at the post office or even go to the doctor, that the last thing you want to be around is children. Especially special needs children. As parent, I am trying my damnedest to make that my children are well behaved and cherubs when they grace the outside world with their presence. But just as you are all having a bad day, they do too. They don't want to be standing in line or waiting for a Doctor that is running late. The trick is, is that we as adults, we know how to act when faced with situations that are less than ideal. Children, even society's idea of "Normal" have a hard time. So when you throw in a child who has some difficulty navigating this earth as it is, it is no picnic.
Its not that we have an option of leaving our children home when we have to run to Target or Kmart to get 5 things. And when they are sick, things are just magnified. So here is the deal...
I honestly get sick and tired explaining my situation to people who see my family as a strife on their day. The looks, the murmurs, the unsolicited parenting advice or whatever you want to throw my way. And honestly, if I hear one more time that all my children need is a good spanking, I am going scream. Scream in a way, its going to make my children's meltdown over the bright lights look like you wished you kept your mouth shut. I don't need you to tell me that my child is being loud or that he/she is vibrating out of their seat. I don't need to you tell me that they are repeating the same words or and over again. Nor do I need you to whisper and stare. I don't need you to tell me that they should be talking by now or ask me why they are still in pull ups. Or do I need you to joke about my child's vibrating chew toy or anything else that helps them with a sensory diet.
This is what I do need. I need you to mind your business. If my children don't look abused or mistreated, then move on. Ignore the flapping. Ignore the screeching. Ignore it all. If it looks like I have a handle on things, then don't put your two cents into the situation. And please if you know what is good for you, don't ever tell me how to parent my children. You don't live my life. You don't go through what I go through. Nor do you sit through IEP meetings or doctor appoints to even have an inkling of why I parent my children the way I do. And You don't have sleepless nights, as your children aren't bouncing off your walls at 4am because they are so over stimulated their little bodies can't relax. So all those assumptions and misconceptions you have, just by having to be near my family for maybe 10 minutes out of your day, can stay within the confines of your head. I need you to look deep within yourself and accept my situation, as well as my children as something that doesn't concern you.
It might seem that I am a little put off. Well I am. With information at people's finger tips, there is absolutely no reason why ignorance prevails. For those who have been taken out of their comfort zone by a child with special needs, guess what? There is an internet just full of information that could enlighten you on why there are certain things going on in the world. What you don't see, is that my children are funny, kind and they love. They just love, love in a way that is important to them.
So yeah, My children have this thing called Autism. It is part of them just as their ears, nose and mouth are part of them. It doesn't define them entirely, but it is a part of who they are as a person. So what. They stim, they are loud sometimes. They have a certain order to how they view the world. And is that anyone's business? No. As it isn't going to matter to you after you leave us standing there in wake of your ignorance.