Sunday, November 9, 2014

Yup, its a Glamourous Life, but someone's got to live it...

Its three o'clock in the afternoon, I am still in my pjs. There is no ounce of care to even put clothes on today. My hair is going sixty directions from Thursday, making the 80's British Punk Culture relevant at my kitchen table . There is a mountain of laundry that needs to be sorted, done and folded. Mt.Washmore as I like to call it. The dishes have yet to be done from two days ago. If anyone were to visit my house right now, they would think they were stepping into an episode of hoarders. With every toy that Toys R US, could possible sell me, littered in every single room in this house. Lunch today was popcorn and Hot dogs. Yeah, you heard that right,  popcorn and hotdogs. And supper? Well that is going to be cereal. They might get their fruit intake from the fruit flavored Disney inspired gummy treats that they got on Hallowe'en. Thank god for Flintstone chewables.

With my children running around maybe half dressed or in various degrees of some sort of a superhero costume depending on the hour and who needs to be saved. The verbal stimming screeching as loud as it can be, Thomas the tank engine blasting on it's 1,232 viewing of the day. An argument about who is the other's side of the couch is occurring every 5 minutes. Honestly, I  really don't know why they haven't made a meditation CD of children, arguing is beyond me.

Today, I just want to go back to that trashy romance novel, with the beefcake dude on the cover, who looks slightly dimwitted, but it doesn't matter because his pectoral muscles make up for the lack of a brain. You know the story, its always the same... Just want to get lost in this dude's flowing mane of stallion hair for an hour, maybe two. But alas.. reality is not a friend of mine.

 Its not that I don't give a fuck, I do. I am just having a down day. A day where no one is going to care if stuff doesn't get done or that the kids aren't eating a meal that has all the elements of the food pyramid in it.  Or when I just don't have the energy to throw everyone in the car to go to the park. As it is never as simple as it sounds.

I don't get that much time, to loose myself in a good novel or a movie. When the kids are at school, that is when I need to get stuff done. Like shopping for food, without " Mom, Momma, Mommy... Can we get this?" every second. Its when I get to clean toilets without the help of a child who loves playing in water. 

So when I have days like this, where all of that gets put on the second burner, and I am surrounded by chaos, looking around at the decoration of fruit loops and legos, I think

"Gee.. Ain't this the glamorous life.." I say that as I have just discovered that at some point one of my children have used me as a kleenex.

I am not one for spas or pampering. Shit, I can't even sit through a manicure without thinking, "Yup that is going to look like shit in an hour"I am lucky if I make it out of the house without a stain on my clothes. When I do have 3 seconds without interruption to actually put make up on, its normally hurried, and the depressed clown theme I am going for has been mastered, then I think I am doing ok.

Down days happen. Its ok. The world is not going to stop rotating around the sun. SO what if today pj's rule supreme or that cookies are what's on the menu. The important thing is that everyone is fine. The house, may be a mess, is still standing. The kids, who might be half dressed and covered in cookie crumbs, are fine.

And myself? Well I have that five minutes in the bathroom to get lost in Mr.Kilt wearing beefcake's Fabio-esque locks and pecs,  while the little fingers under the door jam make their appearance.

"Mom, just making sure you are doing ok.."

" Yes, son, I am ok."