Friday, May 9, 2014

This Military Spouse's persective.

I woke up this morning, not feeling any different from yesterday. I am still tired, I am still waking up to the same stuff I woke up to yesterday. Every morning its the same thing. I do this with no help. I manage myself and three other people, by myself. You see, I am a military spouse.Others are waking up just like me by themselves, as their spouses are deployed.

Today is May 9th. To most people it is just a day. For most of us who are on a Groundhog schedule, it seems like just yesterday or the day before. But today is supposed to be special for us, who married into the Military. Today is Military Spouse Appreciation Day. Now I get it. I do. Call me a bit skeptical, but its hard enough for those of us who love our military members, to gain respect and support at times from the general public. Now that I have said that, don't get me wrong, there are some absolutely fantastic people out there, that are Civilians, who love and support our military families. I am talking about the ones who don't. The ones who call our spouses murders, or question why our families deserve special treatment over them or why do we have a special day of appreciation. So this post is for them.

When our service members enlisted or accepted a commission to be part of this Country's fine military, they did it under an oath to protect and defend this country and to fight in it's wars. When they joined up, there wasn't a family issued to them in the seabag, duffle or rucksack. That job, the job of loving these men and woman, fell to us. The Military Spouse. From the time the human race started militias, there have been the people that loved them, had families with them. Over time we have evolved into what we are today. Through the wars, we have always been there, supporting and loving these individuals. Historical fact right there.

But here's the deal...

Under our tough exterior, we are just humans. We are just people trying to get through our days. Most us do what we do, because its the right thing to do. When I sat down to write this, I thought about all the hardships a military spouse endures in just one year of being married to a service member. I looked back at my own experiences. Most of us, who are women (sorry, guys!) have given birth to our children without our spouses, only for them to meet their children 4-6 months after the fact. We are the Champions of long distance relationships. And with that we worry and stress over our loved ones being in a war zone. I can honestly say, that I didn't sleep pretty much the whole time my husband was deployed to Afghanistan. Sadly, I know I am not the only spouse out there that got nervous when the doorbell rang. We have the fun task of moving every three years, sometimes less. Moving for most people is a stressful thing, try it every three years and moving to a place that might not speak English. Most of us raise our children like a single parent, as our spouses are deployed. And when you throw in special needs, yeah, try doing that all on your own. When our service members come home from deployment, we are the ones who are left to fix this broken person. We are the ones that deal with the PTSD. We are the ones who are encouraging them to live their lives after an injury. We are also the voice of our military, when the government makes plans to take away hard earned retirements and services. You see, our military can't protest injustice that is happening to them, because of that oath they took when they enlisted. The military has no union. So it is up to us, the military spouse, to be their voices.

As you can see, there is a great deal that goes into being a military spouse. It does take a person who can pull up their socks and sailor/soldier on. So when you see a military family, please thank them.A lot of us will tell you that we do what we because we love our spouses but in truth, it is nice to know that someone has recognized the job that we have. The spouses,for the most part, quietly serve at home.

For those Military Spouses, new and seasoned, I hope today you will get some love and support. Know that this Military Spouse thinks you deserve it!