Monday, December 10, 2012

Ignorance..At what point is it just stupidity?

Ok so here is the deal. I am a pretty laid back person and consider myself fairly open minded about a lot things that are happening in the world. But I have to get off  the "Let's be nice" bandwagon for a sec. In my 11 years of military marriage, I have never come across so much ignorance and bitterness as I have traveling the world. It would be naive of me to say that, hatred, ignorance, and the lack of compassion doesn't exist. I am not that soft. But it makes me wonder, what is wrong with people? In the age of information readily available, internet, libraries etc, why are there still people out there that don't want to educate themselves or even show a little compassion. It makes me wonder. Sometimes I feel that being a military spouse and a mother of two autistic children is a double whammy, when pitted against the Ignorant. Why should have I have to justify my choice in life, whether it be how I parent or why I married a Sailor to anyone? I shouldn't have to. That's the point. But when you try to inform the uninformed it gets thrown back at you. Well... I am trying here. I am trying to educate you on something you know nothing about so please listen. Clearly.It seems to me that the world is becoming more and more ignorant. There is no tolerance for the different. Clearly shown here in the United States, during this last election. Or the equality for Homosexuals. Now I am not asking for everyone to agree with me, just respect the fact that there are points of view. 

There is a post circling around that is "The Ten things you shouldn't say to Military Wife" I can't find it.. but I know its out there. It is great. And the number one thing is "You knew what you were getting into when you married him and he knew what he was getting into when he enlisted" I cannot tell you how many times I have heard that come out of people's mouths. Did you know what they were getting into when they married their spouse? No. Unless you can predict the future, no one knows what is in store for them down the road. Most people when they enlist do it for reasons that are personal to them. To see the world, Patriotic duty, learn new things, didn't have enough money to pay for college or just needed a job that pays and has job security. And for us spouses, well we just fell in love with them. The Person, not the job. That is the funny thing about love, it tends to masked all the cons about the relationship. Some people look beyond the cons and see the pros and some don't. Again it comes down the personal choice of the person. I will be the first person to answer questions about my lifestyle for anyone that is curious. But if you don't like the answers I give, then that is not my fault. There are tools out there to educate oneself with. Don't assume things. Assumption is a bad thing. There is no such thing as a stupid question. But respect the answer if you know this is coming from a person that has lived that lifestyle you are curious about. With ignorance comes judgement.

Dealing with the ignorance that follows in regards to Special Needs, is a totally different ball game.Why? Because it involves your children. We as parents will go Mama or Papa bear on someone if they are ignorant towards our children. Again in an age where, Autism is 1 in 88 and is considered an epidemic, where there are resources galore out there to educate, why are we still dealing with the ignorance and the judgement? I am beginning to think its because people just don't care. This, "I can say anything I want to, to a perfect stranger, I am never going to see them again" mentality. There is something wrong with that mentality. Because what happens when something happens to you and you are in need of the aid of a perfect stranger and no one gives a shit?It sucks. The last house we lived in, my neighbour was horrible to me during my husband's deployment.Called the landlord every time she hear a dog bark at night, thinking it was my two.Mine got kenneled when I went to bed, which for me was 8pm( I know I am light weight) Leaving me passive aggressive notes on my door. So instead of coming to talk to me, this is what she did. So what happened when her house flooded after we left, the new people didn't help her out.And the evil part of me laughed.

Last Thursday I stood in line at the post office, with the 20 other people there to mail off their Xmas packages and such. And in true post office fashion, they only had two people working. So it was a long and annoying wait. There was a mother, maybe 5 people behind me, waiting in this same line. Her child, who was maybe 3, was not having a good day. Which in turn, makes the Mother's day not great. He did not want to in line and wanted to run around. Now, we have all been there. We know the feeling. Just want to get the errand done and over with and move on to the next thing but our children who are still learning about the world do not understand the concept of waiting. The young ones especially. The older ones get it. Ok Back to my story. She was having a hard time trying to make him happy. She did everything she could to distracted this child. I can't fault her. She tried. Now I noticed the package she wanted to mail was going to a FPO address. That sticks out like Las Vegas lights. Either she is a military spouse, or has a relative or friend in the Service. At this point, the woman in front of this mother, just turns around and just stares at this young mother., doesn't say anything, just stares at her. The man behind me, is starting to whisper under his breath. I feel for this mother, because I have been there. Trying to get things done with children. I am horrified by the ignorance of these people.This woman was now crying.  When it is my turn to get up to the kiosk, I let the mother go in front of me.So she can her package mailed off and then tend to her child. The fellow behind me starts to get bent out of shape, because I let her go before me. . When she leaves the post office, I turn to everyone in the building and say...

"The whole lot of you who stood there and just stared at her, should be ashamed of yourselves. Because you all started out as children, and I bet none of you were angels for your parents every single day. She was trying to mail off something to a member of the Military. Whether it be her husband or a family member. Staring and her and whispering behind your hands didn't help. And if you all of want to get bent out shape because let in front me and did a kind thing, you all need to rethink what this season is all about."

Not one of them had anything to say to me. The post office worker couldn't look me in face when I was mailing off my stuff.

What is sad, is that this isn't the last time these past couple of days, where I have had to deal with ignorance like that. Trying to defend a friend, as someone who could not let an issue drop, even after her question got answered, she continued to bait. Senseless.

I guess I don't understand, why there is a need to behave like that. It seems that no matter what your choices in life are there are always going to be critics. As I always say, Open your Mind before you open your mouth. As you don't what kind of shoes the other person is walking in. And until you do, there is absolutely no room for the ignorance.