I lost faith..

I know I said I was going to take a hiatus. Break. Vacation if you will from writing. I have had time to think about things. Things that are important. Well to me anyway...

I lost faith in myself.I had that self doubt that I couldn't write. I convinced myself that I was horrible at writing, based on the fact that I didn't think anyone read my posts. When I put out yesterday that I was going to take a break, the amount of support that came was overwhelming. It really touched in a way that it made me tear up.

When I started this blog, my intention was to offer support. To offer a laugh or a smile. To say to people that, " Hey, You are not alone.." I wanted those who felt that the experiences they were having were normal. The feelings that they were having were ok. Now I know I have blogged about a lot of stuff. Some of it was informative to some and not so much to others. I was willing to put myself out there and share an aspect of my life with the world. Like anything its tough to write about yourself and put yourself out there.

In all honesty, it comes down to me loosing faith in myself. The thought of "I can't do this.." Instead of " Hey, you know what? You CAN do this." If my writing reaches 1 person or 100, it will be ok either way. In a twist, loosing faith in yourself isn't a great message to give to your children. But its ok to tell them its ok if you need to take a step back and recharge. This applies to everything you do. And everything I do.

Play it Forward...simple concept

Life can be so chaotic at times where you can barely get a thought in and take five minutes to yourself. It can be a demanding mistress that takes everything out of you at the end of the day. So when you do have that thought of Y'know I should do something redeeming. Play it forward. It doesn't have to be anything major. A cup of coffee for someone or made an offer of a lunch paid. Or maybe just be helpful. It only takes a second to let someone know that you care and that you are a decent human being. The experience is truly uplifting. I know cliche... But listen...

Today I did something that was amazing. It wasn't anything big. Nothing that cost a lot. It was something that meant something to someone else. I bought  the old fellow that was behind me in Starbucks a cup of coffe and a muffin. He patiently stood there while my children who were acting like squirrels around him. It turns out that this man was was a WWII and Korean War Veteran. He had just lost his wife, who he married right before he was shipped off to War in 1943. She apparently was his rock and that was so proud of him for serving so much that he continued in the service through the Korean War. She never complained. Loved him. When I told him our family's story, he quietly told me that we are a dying breed, the ones that love and support. He thanked me graciously for treating him to a cup of joe and a snack. I wished him a great day and went on my way. I know as I was walking out he sat there with a smile on his face. I would like to think that I had blessed his day a little and hopefully let him know that a perfect stranger can care.

With all the chaos that is happening, take pause and just do something simple for someone. As you never know when something unexpected will come your way. 

Why the fight for the Military is important.

Why is the fight of the Military and it's families an important one?

For the past couple of weeks the voices of the military have been heard due to cuts in retirement and earned benefits  in the recent budget deal that was passed right before Christmas. We fight to have what our service members have earned through war zones, deployments and 20+ years in the service. In Decmeber most of us were stunned that both Congress and Senate would haphazardly pass this bill without even a regard to this country's service men and women. We were no more shocked when Senator McCain, a Veteran himself, with a long military family history voted to pass this bill. On the eve of this historic vote, we the families of this country's service members took to any platform we could to beg and plead to anyone who would listen to contact their Senator and congress rep on our behalf. We wanted Washington to know that what they did was a disservice to those who have and still proudly served in this Nation's military. We are asking again to lend us your voice and your anger to let the government know they need to correct their mistake. They need to let the military know they actually care. 

So the question is why should the general public care?

Well there are many reasons. 

You see if we didn't have people to volunteer to enlist, there would be the draft. Yes I said it. The draft. For those who remember what that is from Vietnam and WWII, it means that you owe your country time in the service. So when the next group of people feel the need to challenge the freedoms of this country, be prepared to be conscripted. How does that tie in to what is happening? Well if the Governement continues to screw the military over there is no incentive to join, therefore, in order to protect this country and it's freedoms, the draft will be re-instated. Now it would be nice if those who handle the money for the Military had done some years in the military to understand how it works so we wouldn't have people like Senator Paul Ryan and Senator Murray putting a budget deal like this one through. 

Another is reason, is the military shouldn't have to worry about their hard earned retirement and benefits that were promised to them when they enlisted. They need to be focused on the job their country asks them to do. All these freedoms that people are screaming about, Speech, Guns etc, those rights are protected by the military, whether they agree with them or not. So when we are faced with a government that doesn't see the need to take care of its military, why should the military bother to care? Well they bother because they signed an agreement when they enlisted and each time they are up to get out, this country asks them to stay in with promises. Also there is this thing called honor. Most service members you talk to say it's been an honor to serve and protect their country. There is this thing called Sacrifice. The military has sacrificed a lot in the name of service. Time with family and the ultimate sacrifice, their lives. 

We don't want to be that country that doesn't stand behind it's Veterans and Active Duty.

So the plight of this country's military is important to the everyday person. I beg you to please stand with us. Please call your Government Reps. If you are on any social media, lend us your voice. With that being said make Washington #KeepYourPromise. 

Is Acceptance becoming a lost art?

It seems to me that as of late Acceptance has become one that is getting ignored. It seems it doesn't matter what you are, this need to tell people what you think of them regardless of who you are is astonishing. In the past couple of weeks the internet has exploded with this thought process, well if you don't agree with me or you are different from me you must be inferior.

Not saying that we all have to be friends, but the point of accepting someone's thoughts and opinions or uniqueness and moving on has become a lost notion. You can agree to disagree or ignore a person that you don't like. I am finding that social media has become the gladiator type arena for people to take bashing one another to a whole new level. You have to ask yourself what is the point? Most of them its random stranger pitted against random stranger.

I think what worries me is that when you are in a certain community and there is need to bash some one for their thoughts and questions or their uniqueness. I see this a lot within the Autism Community. A Community that screams acceptance and fights for it, but yet within it's walls can't accept those who are in the confines of it. Either it has been a page, who is set up to provide information about Autism and Advocacy blasting those who ask questions, protecting the very people who attack those who happen to come upon this page with inquiries. Or its a personal attack on those who have discovered something about themselves. But it is truly sad that a community that wants Acceptance from the World, can't even accept their own.

It doesn't just stop there. The past couple of weeks have seen internet debates that include Military retirements to Duck Dynasty. My religion is better than your religion. My political side is better than your political side. I can't make a point about how Reality TV has skewed the priorities of this country without religion and politics being pulled into it. It wasn't  about religion. It wasn't about who you voted for. But that turned into a shit storm because people thought religion was being persecuted. Back to my religion is better than yours mentality. Back to the whole question of "Why can't we just accept that others are different and move on.."

Personally, I have always been a fairly open minded person. I don't care if you are Gay, Straight, Autistic, Neuro typical, Republican, Democrat, Hindu, Muslim or Christian and so on. I care when you don't accept me for who I am. You can disagree with me, that is fine. But move on. Respect the fact that even though I don't agree with you, I have accepted who you are. Don't bash me for being who I am because I don't conform to your idea of what is right.

Acceptance is becoming a lost art.

Embrace the Suck.. They have no idea.....

What does it say about a country that can ask it's military to go off and fight its wars for them, then turn around and take the hard earned retirements, benefits and services away from their own troops, but yet refuse to take a pay cut themselves to help balance a budget?


I feel as if once again this country's proud military is getting thrown under the bus. Its like this vicious cycle. But no one, not one of them sitting high and mighty in Washington, want to take the blame. No one. I get that this country overspent. We do all do on occasion. But the biggest difference is, is that most people when they do that they own up to it. Yeah I fucked up. Most people don't sit there and blame other parties.

So yeah, you are damn right that people are angry.You bet that the military is looking at the actions of Washington, and thinking WTF? How dare you ask us to sacrifice our lives and our families to do a job that none of you are willing to do while you mess about with our entitlements. You are damn right that if you put yourself on the front line protecting this country, you should be entitled to something.

Embrace the Suck? Nancy Pelosi? Really. You have no idea how much that makes you sound like a callous, ignorant, insensitive person. You have absolutely  no idea, not one iota of what that statement means to the ones you are screwing over. You have never had to fight for anything like your pay, retirement and services you receive for being a Politician. But yet your statement stings. Until you know the full meaning and impact of what your words mean, don't sit there and tell us to "Embrace the Suck." Because if you did, you would never have uttered those words to the American People. The people that got you to the place you sit now.This goes to all those who thought that this budget deal was ok. Remember those who put you there and how you are throwing them under the bus to save your ass.

I urge you all to please if you support our military and the job they do to protect your freedoms, please contact your local government officials.Let them know you stand with this country's Military.

Thanks again Washington for yet another fantastic way of showing you support your military. 

So this is Christmas....

So this is Christmas....
And what have you Done?
Another Year over...
And a new one just Begun....


Its remarkable that there are some songs out there that can touch your heart and trigger emotions. For me its John Lennon's Happy Xmas, War is Over.  Originally it was a protest song for the Vietnam War. It now has become a standard on most Holiday albums. For a lot of people it is just a song that comes on the radio along with all the other Holiday cheer.  For me, it makes me wish that all those who have loved ones deployed this Christmas could have one day where War was over. Just for one day.

I, like many other families are missing those who matter the most this holiday season. Many of us would love for conflict that has taken our loved ones away to stop. But in order for us to maintain peace or for peace to happen, our loved ones are the ones trying to do it. Most of us, we know that when we do have our loved ones with us, its makes the holiday extra special. But its not always possible.

We try our best to get through the chaos of the season. I won't lie its hard. No one will truly understand what its like to stand in line at the Post Office mailing off packages with APO addresses, making sure the customs forms are filled out properly. Boxes filled with all the goodies and love you want your loved one to have while off in a far away land. Just a little touch of home. Not everyone is going to understand the sadness you have when you are trying to make spirits bright for your children, but yet you are dying inside. Nor will people get it when certain songs  trigger emotions while in the mall or grocery store. But like we always do, we soldier on.

Holidays are always hard on Military Families with deployed family members. As it is a continued reminder of the sacrifice we all make.Be easy on the mother who is struggling to hold it together while running her errands. Or to the father who is trying desperately make sure his daughters are looking pretty. Or to the spouses who just miss that special person they would love to kiss under the mistletoe. Also be joyous for those who continue to make sure you have your freedom. Freedom to worship this season in your own fashion, regardless on what faith they are from.

So wouldn't it be nice if the War was over and people could be at peace?

I think John Lennon was right on so many levels. Just Imagine :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWsMxU5FCSs

A simple Holiday Request.

Its the Holidays. I get it. We all do. Its been quite evident since the beginning of September that the Holiday season is going to be upon us.

In the world of Autism, the hustle and bustle of the holiday season means something all together different. The noise of it all can be overwhelming to our sensory sensitive children. While we shuffle about trying to get our presents wrapped and shipped off or our holiday parties planned. I often wondered how our little ones get through the chaos of it all.

For me I find it hard when you have a child that doesn't understand the concept. No fault on them. Just that Santa Claus and all of his elves are foreign. Or that the lighting of the Menorah is too much for them. In this world that is so critical of others its hard to maintain a level of cheer this holiday season.

We have a love/hate relationship with Christmas in this house. I love everything to do with Christmas. But my ASD kids don't. My daughter hates everything to with Santa. The even thought of him will spark a meltdown. . Its not the crowds or the noise that bothers her, but just the very thought of him. Pictures, ornaments, you name it we can't have in our house.We don't even do the Elf on the Shelf, as the thought of an elf that spies for Santa also sparks an autistic "Hell No" To her and maybe the Church Lady from SNL he very well could be the devil himself. But that isn't the sad part. Its the reaction from people who see the panic in her eyes or the fear they hear in her voice when she says " No Mommy, No Santa.." We get the " Oh what a silly thing to be afraid of.. " or " No one can be afraid of Santa Claus..." Its like everything else when it comes to publicly parenting your children. The looks and the comments.

And with my youngest son, the lights and sounds of the holiday are an overload. You can't walk into a store or a mall without lights blinking on and off rapidly or the Xmas music blaring at decibels that would wake the dead.  People wonder why he vibrates out of his stroller or carts. Or why he chews on his wrist like a cannibal. Its called over stimulation. And 85% of people will not know what its like to live in a world where your senses are magnified. Holidays are hard enough at times to get through, the added scrutiny certainly doesn't help.

So this is what I ask this holiday season. Its a simple request. I wish people would be more accepting. I know that more malls out there are doing Sensory Safe Santa. Which I think is fabulous. But for those children that Santa is really not their thing, don't sit there and question it. Don't make the child feel guilty because they have no desire to talk to the Jolly Old Guy. Its not their fault. Its just who they are.  Make them feel that its ok not want to participate. Holidays should be celebrated without the added pressure. It should be about love, support and acceptance.  So the next time you see a child that is scared of something, ask yourself...

How you feel if you were in a room by yourself with the one thing that terrifies you?